This was this comic I was going to post last week. I still have mixed feelings about it. It exposes a vulnerable part of myself that I’m not really proud of. On the other hand, there is a lot of thoughtful honesty behind this comic.
The spark behind this comic came from reading early archives of Isolated Instances of Non-Gravity (WARNING: Not safe for work). The early comics focused on a young single man pining after a shopping store clerk, and it made me realize: I haven’t been pining for anyone in a long, long time. In fact, aside from the occasional pangs of loneliness, I’m almost entirely comfortable with living by myself.
Almost entirely.
I get teased a lot by married people (especially ones with kids) about how “smart” I am for staying single. I understand the joke, but it gets a little grating as time goes on. It’s kind of like being a teenager fed up with everyone telling him how it’s Hell to be an adult. It’s hard to enjoy life in the present when people keep reminding you about the unavoidable hassles of getting older.
Being single is great. It gives you a wonderful amount of freedom to do the things you really want. But there’s a lingering sense that this freedom is temporary, and that things will only go downhill from here. And that’s the thing that bothers me most about being single.
Of course, there’s also the lingering sense that I’m totally misunderstanding everything.
I hardly ever dated before I met my wife. Love comes when you least expect it. You don’t find love, it finds you. Sure, you’re single right now, but don’t worry.
Also, I didn’t find this comic whiny at all. I find vulnerabilities intriguing. I have them too, although I usually display them by cussing about problems and situations.
I know what you mean with this strip, though when I was single, I WOULD pine for various women, but I was too damn shy and socially inept to do something about it.
I think you hit the nail on the head about married/attached people complaining about their significant others. I seem to believe that they have taken their relationships for granted, and let it slip into being an annoyance rather than the one thing that used to consume them when they were in the beginning of those relationships.
I’m really enjoying reading these archives, and I’ll be checking in on this as well as my other fave comics. Great stuff, man!
I really liked this comic strip. Its sorta how I feel. My parents went through a terrible divorce and I never really grew up watching or reading romantic stories- so I thought that being in love was an act of stupidity. Then I feel in love. Oww. It did not end well but I did learn a lot and it changed how I look at love. How well your relationship does depends on a lot of things: how well you protect your boundaries, how well you can open up to people, how well you can help others, how good are you at accepting others, how good you are at solving or coping with problems, and how compassionate you are towards others, how well you can deal with embrassing momments, how fulfilling your life is, and how willing you are to love again… I guess this means I’m doomed.
I know this feeling all too well. Being single sounds good until you either see a happy couple or someone attractive that it reminds you of the loneliness.
Another perspective of singleness is to see it as a season. Enjoy for what it is before the relationship enters into the picture.
I really liked this comic. I can also relate. Being single is such an interesting mix of sacred time for the Self as well as too much time for the Self. If you imagine yourself married with five kids screaming at you and grabbing onto your legs, singlehood doesn’t seem so bad.
I like to think of singlehood as the time you get to take for yourself to develop your relationship with yourself better. You are given a gift of time to love yourself and develop your skills, insights, talents, and goals, uninterrupted.
The more you go within and become friends with yourself in your singlehood, the happier and more content you will feel about your situation. Loneliness will always be there, but you will come to accept it. It is also worth noting that many people are terribly lonely WHILE in a relationship. People who are single are not always more lonely than attached people.
Great job! Keep ‘em coming! <3
I live alone, most of the time. (I have a child from a prior marriage. Being a father is the greatest joy of my life. My child lives me with me part time. I’m trying to learn to be as happy when he’s not here as when he is.)
Being single? Feels like a blessing to me, at least for now. I’ve been a caretaker all my life, and I’m tired of it. To come home to an empty, quiet house feels like falling into a swimming pool after you’ve been in the heat all day.